The first sign of emotion was experienced on new year’s day.. partly because I can remember writing this blog description and listing NYD12 as the time everything would change, and partly because I had to make the event of my going away party. I realised that things were getting pretty finalised, so it took me a while to send out the invites.
Now it’s the day after the party, and I’m pretty mellow. There’s nothing left for me to do in Brisbane – it’s all pretty much over! I had a good time last night, with my 40 friends, but I always come home from nights out wondering why I can never get reckless like everyone else. I definitely think I should have taken up the opportunity of going to a karaoke place when it was presented, because I really have always thought it would be so much fun and everyone who was there was there because they were my friend. They hit the town just for me! That made me feel good when I realised that I do have friends, because sometimes I feel like I just have many acquaintances which I have collected over the years. Next time I’m back though: karaoke!
This night probably should have been one of the ‘big deal’ events.. didn’t even get upset. I am beginning to wonder if I am perhaps actually just strong enough that I am not terribly upset by this? We’ll see in a week….
Found it interesting to remember that the feeling I have now of wishing that I had realised something was a big deal so that I’d engaged more is one which I felt over 5 years ago after my high school formal. I wonder if this will continue throughout my life then?