hmm

Haven’t really felt any particular emotions for a while. It’s a bit like, I am aware of what’s happening, but maybe I don’t quite believe it? Examples include attending all of the graduation parties, and then of course the graduation ceremony itself, sitting in the plane before skydiving with Teagan (who definitely didn’t seem to be under the influence of this emotionlessness!), Christmas, and now booking plane tickets for Melbourne. It’s nothing too drastic – I can still function normally day-to-day, I don’t have problems interacting with people or anything. But for the ‘big deal’ things, they’re not being registered as big deals. I have a theory that it is my mind’s form of protection – these aren’t things that I have really been looking forward to, and can’t believe are actually happening.

The next ‘big deal’ will be my move. I’m hoping that this effect continues until and after then, because otherwise I’m going to end up alone in a new town with a whole lot of big deals finally hitting me.

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